Ruriem: Stan feat Yurika
by FLCO EX
Summary: (Eminem got spoof! HA! OOC Ruri and somewhat an AU Story) Stan wrote a letter to his number one idol Ruriem, hoping she'll reply back. Meanwhile, Ruriem is busy with other things. Rated for swearing and mild violence. R&R plz. Thank you.


Ruriem: Stan (feat Yurika)  
Authored by: FLCO EX_  
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_Legal Crap: I do not own anything that is Eminem or Nadesico. Although it's my idea for combine Eminem and Ruri as one. Anyway, I'm poor as usual so dun sue.  
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A/N: First off, thank you for your reviews about Eminem parody. As for the request from the reviewers, I have thoughts about making a Lose Yourself parody but I have some difficulty trying to write it, especially using POD. But still I'll do my best on it. Expect a Lose Yourself by Ruriem on my next work. As for when, ......well......I dunno........whenever I feel like writing again.  
  
And about my latest Ruriem installment, well...not much Nadesico nor POD content, however try to think of it as a AU story. I'm cutting the crap now, hope you enjoy this. Remember to review it after reading. Thnx!  
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[Yurika]   
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why   
Got out of bed at all   
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all   
And even if I could , it would all be great   
To put Akito's picture on my wall   
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.  
  
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why   
I got out of bed at all   
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all   
And even if I could , it would all be great   
To put Akito's picture on my wall   
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. _  
  
  
[Stan]  
Dear Ruri ,   
I wrote you but you still ain't callin'   
I left my e-mail, my handphone, and my home coordinate at the bottom   
I sent two letters back in Autumn   
You must not have got 'em   
There probably was a problem at the warp machine or somethin'   
Sometimes it screw up the address coordinate when I key 'em   
But anyways , fuck it, what's been up girl, how's Hari Makibi ?   
I just sign up as a military, I'm bout to be a soilder  
If I got selected, guess where I'ma wanna go into?   
I'mma going asign to Nadesico   
I accidentally read H-doujinshi about you, I'm sorry   
I had a friend who force me to read it no matter how much didn't want it  
I know you probably hear this everyday , but I'm your biggest fan   
I even got Nergal Chairman's e-mail so I can make spam   
I got a full collection of Nadesico DVD and POD man   
I like the shit you did with Heero and Relena too, that shit was phat   
Anyways , I hope you get this man, hit me back , just to chat   
Truly yours , your biggest fan   
This is Stan   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
(Meanwhile, at Anime MTV Award at Earth. Ruri, along with 500 Ruri look-a-likes marching pass the roaring crowd and towards the stage...)  
  
[Ruri]  
...Houmei girls wave your pantyhose,  
sing the chorus and it goes  
I'm Ruriruri, yes I'm the real Ruri  
All you other Ruriruris are just imitating  
So won't the real Ruriruri please stand up,  
please stand up, please stand up?...  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
_[Yurika]   
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why   
Got out of bed at all   
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all   
And even if I could , it would all be great   
To put Akito's picture on my wall   
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. _  
  
(Few weeks later...)  
  
[Stan]  
Dear Ruri,   
You still ain't called or wrote   
I hope you have a chance   
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans   
If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert   
You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew   
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old   
We waited in the blistering cold for you  
For four hours and ya just said no   
That's pretty shitty girl, you're like his fucking idol   
He wants to be just like you man, he has higher IQ than I do   
I ain't that mad though I just don't like bein' lied to   
Remember when we met in Saturn , you said if I write you   
You would write back   
See, I'm just like you in a way   
I never knew my parents neither   
We're born on a test tube and parent are Holograms   
I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs   
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on   
Cause I don't really got shit else   
So that shit helps when I'm depressed   
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest   
Sometimes I even cut myself to prevent myself t peek at your H-doujinshi   
It's like adrenaline , the pain is such a reminder for me   
See, everything you say is real , and I respect you 'cause you tell it   
Everyone think I'm mad 'cause I talk about you 24/7   
But they don't know you like I know you Ruri , no one does   
They don't know what it was like for people like us growing up   
You've gotta call me girl   
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose   
Sincerely yours ,   
Stan   
P.S. We should be together too   
  
_[Yurika]   
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why   
Got out of bed at all   
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all   
And even if I could , it would all be great   
To put Akito's picture on my wall   
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. _  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
(Meanwhile, at NERGAL HEAVY INDUSTRY Co. Ltd HQ, Chairman's Office...)  
  
Ruri: What the fuck do you mean for me to tone down?  
  
Akatsuki: Try to understand Miss Hoshino, all of your song are so.....valgur and violent. The Military knew you once work for us and are now complaining that Nergal is a company breeding valgur people and our sales are droping cos of that.  
  
Ruri: Oh so I'm blame for this fucking shit!?  
  
Akatsuki: Woah woah, calm down Hoshino, don't get so fucked up.  
  
Ruri: Fucked up? (Takes out a gun) FUCK THIS! (BANG!)  
  
Akatsuki: ARRRGGGH!!!!! MY ARM!!! YOU SHOT MY FUCKIN AR...  
  
(BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click...click...click...)  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(6 months later...)  
  
[Stan]  
Dear Ms. 'I'm too good to call or write my fans'   
This'll be the last package I ever send your ass   
It's been six months and still no word   
I don't deserve it?   
I know you got my last two letters , I fixed the warp machine and input the coord perfect .   
So this is my message card I'm sending you. I hope you hear it   
I'm in the ship right now, I'm doing warp 4 on the milkyway   
Hey Ruri, "I just passed Aestivalis crash course...dare me to pilot?"   
You know that anime by Gundam Seed Episode thirteen?   
About that guy who could have saved that space shuttle from exploding?   
But didn't ?   
Then he saw it all as it reduce into piece?   
That's kinda how this is   
You could have rescued me from exploding   
Now it's too late   
I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy   
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call   
I hope you know I jacked off whenever I see your H-Doujinshi   
I love you Ruri, we could have been together   
Think about it   
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it   
And when you dream , I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it   
I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me   
See Ruri, shut up twit, I'm try-na talk   
Hey Ruri, that's my brother screaming in the room   
But I didn't shoot him up, I just tied him up-side-down, see I ain't like you   
'Cause if he got blood rush, he'll suffer more , and then he'll die too   
Well , gotta go, I'm almost at the asteroid field now   
Oh shit , I forgot , how am I supposed to send this shit out?  
  
(A loud "MINA NO BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~!" was heard before the ship was crushed in the asteroid field)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Yurika: (Applying make up) Hm hm hm hm hm...huh...? I'm on? Crap! (Grabs the mic)...*ahem*...  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
_[Yurika]   
Ramen's gone cold , I'm wonderin' why   
Got out of bed at all   
The shiny starlights at my window and I can't see at all   
And even if I could , it would all be great   
To put Akito's picture on my wall   
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. _   
  
(3 weeks later...)  
  
[Ruri]  
Dear stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy  
You said you have the full collection of Nadesico, but what bout Gekigan 3?   
Look , I'm really flattered you wanna work in Nadesico  
And here's an autograph for your brother   
I wrote it on a Starter cap   
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show , I must have missed you   
Don't think I did that shit intentionally , just to diss you   
But what's this shit bout you cutting your wrists too?   
I say that shit just clownin' baka, come on, how fucked up are you?   
You got some issues , Stan , I think you need some counselin'   
To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some   
And what's this shit about us meant to be together ?   
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other.   
I really think you should take a holiday  
maybe you just need to treat yourself better   
I hope you get to read this letter   
I just hope it reaches you in time   
Before you hurt yourself   
I think that you'd be doin' just fine   
If you'd relax a little   
I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan   
Why are you so mad?   
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan   
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit   
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick   
Some dude was drunk and drove his spaceship over in space   
And had his brother tied up-side-down and and had trapped him in a room   
And in the ship they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to   
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you   
Damn   
  



End file.
